Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Just in time for Valentines: the 40 cheesiest Catholic pickup lines... ever

Found this list over at Catholic Cravings. Enjoy!

  1. When I read Philippians 4:8, I think about you.
  2. My Sacred Heart scapular started beating faster when I saw you.
  3. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a confession line like this?
  4. I’m doing my Marian consecration this year. Next year, I’d like to be Marian you.
  5. If I had I a vocation to the priesthood and I met you… I’d still go to the seminary.
  6. Hey girl, I know when Septuagesima starts.
  7. It’s Palm Sunday, may I hold your palm?
  8. You know, they say Latin lovers are the most passionate…
  9. And baby, your form is extraordinary.
  10. Will you be the Alice to my Dietrich?
  11. The Gianna to my Pietro?
  12. The Crystalina to my Jason?
  13. Sackcloth and ashes really suits you.
  14. I think I’m called to marriage, can I call you sometime?
  15. You’ll always be the second woman in my life. Our Lady is first.
  16. You’re my eucatastrophe.
  17. I’m no Joseph… perhaps you can help me interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you?
  18. Hmm, you smell as good as St Padre Pio’s stigmata.
  19. If loving you is a heresy, then let me be anathema.
  20. The sight of you leaves me apophetic.
  21. You, me, candles, wine, and a little Lamb of God?
  22. How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
  23. I believe you have one of my ribs…
  24. Is your name Grace? ‘Cause you’re amazing.
  25. Is your name Charity? ‘Cause if I don’t have you, I’ll be nothing.
  26. Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.
  27. So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I don’t have yours.
  28. I think I just met the 13th gift of the Holy Spirit.
  29. What are you Tolkien about?
  30. Not much… Wojtyła doing later?
  31. I always wanted a Josephite marriage… until I met you.
  32. Are you a penitential season? ‘Cause I’d give up anything for you.
  33. Are you baptismal regeneration? ‘Cause you make me feel like a new man.
  34. Are you the sacrament of Confirmation? ‘Cause you complete me.
  35. I love you like Abelard loved Heloise… but without the fornication, lying, public disgrace or castration.
  36. Want to join me on the threshing floor?
  37. Christ may be the bread of life, but you’re the butter.
  38. You’re a Galatians 5 fruit salad.
  39. You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.
  40. I sometimes write for Called to Communion. Coffee?