Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Pope May Be Super

This really is the official ad for Arrow.
My latest Netflix binge involves watching sometimes 3 or episodes a night of the CW's "Arrow".

The DC Comics Green Arrow. Making a point..haha..get it? No...oh.
Arrow is a revisioning of the Green Arrow from DC Comics. It's a hokey, plot-hole abundant, overwrought drama series that I am truly into. It's got a dangerous island with ninjas, a city that apparently is the size of Oxford and every crime involves like the same group of people, and it has pretty cool fight scenes. And it's comic related.
Oliver Queen (the HOOD) in his training room...this is the last shirtless pic on this page. Promise.
Like Batman, the Green Arrow (or "the Hood" as he's called on the show) has a secret lair where he develops his skills and then at nightfall, he goes out and punishes the rich who have "failed the city". There is very little hiding that he's sort of a Robin Hood.
Arrow. With a shirt.
So anyway, that's cool. And it seems as the mythos are continuing to be written on the current Pope, it seems that Pope Francis may very well be...a superhero.

Like Arrow.
First, Arrow honed his skills on the aforementioned island by learning to fight and defend himself. Pope Francis, as his hagiography is being revealed, was a bouncer. That would involve, I imagine, being tough, defensive and being able to throw someone out. I imagine. Because it never happened to me. Even in freshman year. More like a gentle lift and release into the gutter behind Harvey's. Seems paying for your drinks is a big deal in Starkville.
Bruisers greet a fellow bruiser!
Secondly, there is some idea that Francis may be going out at night and HELPING THE POOR! Like ARROW! Well, like St. Nicolaus too... but...comics.
Cameras follow the pope carefully in a slum waiting for him to hug something.

However, I am skeptical.

The bouncer thing goes against his type. I cannot imagine a young Georgie Bergoglio working as a heavy in a club. Picture this. It's like 1963 Argentina and we're at a it "DISCO GATO" or something. And the young pope is the bouncer. A group of thugs arrive at the door and say, "We are not paying to get in. We want to enter for free!" Noticing one thug has a scar on his face from a knife-fight, Georgie kisses him and says, "I accept you" and lets them in.
After the club is robbed, the owner says, "THEY HAD GUNS AND KNIVES! DIDN'T YOU NOTICE?" to the bouncer. He answers, "Who am I to judge?" He then decides that security keeps people from the poor and vows to always be accessible.
A few people who are known to hate night clubs and dancing remark, "I don't like to go out and party but this bouncer makes me proud. If more bouncers didn't bounce, I'd consider thinking about maybe going to a club once maybe. Sorta."

GTFO means "Please leave my house" in Argentina.
And the going out at night thing? Hmm, Rome's poor seem to like to eat. Very Roman. Our poor in the USA? They're okay with eating with you but they tend to want stuff, heat, water, medical bills and sometimes they want a job. Every time I try to do the Francis thing by hugging a poor person, I get a hug but then they're like, "I need some money!" And they tend to come out during the day too. Nocturnal food eating poor people? Not many.
Honesty and not discriminating. He coulda said "I need a Coors".
Haha..just kidding. No one wants a Coors.
But that's the way legends are born. And he's not even been in office for a year! Stay tuned for Season 2!

Season 2, ep 3: Putin takes on Francis in a death match! On the CW!