Thursday, August 8, 2013

When he does the Confetior, it's personal.....

He has tears that can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
First, there were the Chuck Norris "facts":
Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear carpet in his bedroom. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars that is why there is no sign of life
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Before Chuck Norris, the Black-Eyed Peas were just "The Peas"

He lives vicariously, through HIMSELF.

Then we got the Most Interesting Man in the World memes:
He once taught a German Shepherd, to bark in Spanish
He once counted to infinity, TWICE!
He can speak Spanish, in Russian
He bowls, Overhand
His Autobiography is also known as the Guiness book of world records

And now, there's a new man who has quite the resume:
He turns his pillow over to the WARM side 
He blows out his birthday cake and has a piece of candle.
He takes a bag of Cheetos that says it contains "two servings" and only eats one serving. The other one he gives to the poor.

He knows only one word in every language. That word is "shucks"
He doesn't wait three days to call someone after he's kissed them. Even if that person is a baby.
He takes his garbage IN.
His towels have JPII monogrammed on them.
He makes a Crucifix look like it's SHOWBOATING.


Stay THRIFTY, my friends.