Turns out, it was a bit of Jesuit School hijinks! Here's an email to clarify:
Hi, I'm Chris Rouhier and I'm an Admissions Representative at Wheeling Jesuit University. I will actually be moving your way in a couple of months when my soon-to-be wife begins her teaching career in Lake Village, AR.
I noticed your blog post about Jesuit spies and I wanted to clarify something regarding the "Stealthy Steltenkamp" article.
Every year around April Fools Day, the Cardinal Connection publishes an issue with both hard news and fictional stories (we've never had the good fortune of having April 1 as our publication date). There are usually subtle hints to make clear to the readers that the stories are fake. For this one, the clue was the asterisks before and after the article. I am afraid that Fr. Mike is not a spy. In any case, he better not be, as he is celebrating my wedding in less than a month. I don't need him leaving for any secret missions!
I hope this information helps. I was an editor on the Cardinal Connection for three years and I am now the moderator. I'm sure your piece was tongue-in-cheek but I thought I'd lend a little clarification for your readers. :)
Another reason I won't be a spy, I didn't notice the asterisks were code for "messing with your head".