Monday, January 2, 2012

Turns out, hipsters kinda like us.

The Local Voice

I picked up the local hipster paper, The Local Voice, while buying some last minute Christmas gifts (ie: liquor). Like most privately published weekly papers in cities or college towns, it highlights bands, entertainment, harps on sports and beats up politicans, and is highly inbred with in-jokes and referencing the groovy crowd in a if-you-don't-know-this-person-then-you're-not-cool way (like the Jackson Free Press or Mississippi Catholic..ha!).

Strangely, for the otherwise leftist stance, the Local Voice is VERY pro-Colonel Reb. Odd that a symbol retired due to it's implied insensitivity to race and culture is the unofficial mascot of the paper. He's fun to draw, I guess.

Just the same, the year end issue is the one I grabbed and yesterday, while looking it over, I noticed that the LV had a LOCAL FAVORITES of the year section. I was surprised by some of the results:

Wiggum gotta gun!
 In the FAVORITE Clergy member, turns out, I'm like #11 in Honorable Mention. WOOO HOOO! Considering the Public Servant Category has "None of Them" as their third, that's saying something. I'm like the Chief Wiggum of clergy!

But even better, there was a CHURCH category!

Next to the Liquor Stores and over the Tattoo Parlor, FAVORITE CHURCH in the Number 3 position is


Next year, let's get number one. Imma grow a soul patch and make ironic references to My Little Pony and joke about something that happened at Main Squeeze that you had to be there to know. The choir will wear flannel shirts and moustaches and what was once donuts and coffee on Sunday morning is now tofu and PBR.